My cloud of doom...

Sigh,

i finished skool and im graduating.. but yet im still depressed, anything i do makes me no less closer to happiness than if i was walking backwards. This really blows. I find myself walking in circles and speculating that my happiness is tied in with my current living conditions. In other words, i need out. I need to work on a cruise, get the fuck out of here, and find my way. I also need to swap items with my X. Yea.. i broke up with him. He could of been the best thing for me, or he could of not been. I say that cuz i hesitate the meaning of what i did. He didnt make me completely happy, and i knew that for a fact. So, problem solved. Finding someone will indoubtfully be a task harder than scalling the himallayas. *damn grammer* Nothing can make me happy, not even my birthday coming up, all it does is create more dread, and doubts into my mind. Im hopping for a gunshot, or a possible stabbing to end it all. But instead i continue on this dreadful path that leads me further into the unknown. How dare i continue living like this. Nothing will ease my pain and numbingness. Nothing.